i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
