just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
