Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
