Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
