im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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