So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
