my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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