I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
