the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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