I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
