Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
