He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
