what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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