My hand turned me down
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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