What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
