I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
