dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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