I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
