youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
