i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
