he thought i was a dude.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
