Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
