i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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