Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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