First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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