So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
