Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Found your dick twin last night
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sext me about skeletons
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
