I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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