whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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