16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
