11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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