I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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