She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
