I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
