i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
