I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
