ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was confusing and full of hummus
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
