no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
