Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
