you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
