Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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