I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
