so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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