It's just like the Real World with babies
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
