She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
