thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
