thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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