need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
