i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
