you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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