Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
