I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
