alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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