Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
