meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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